".......but: ARE YOU HAPPY?
I don't care what you have and did, this is not a contest - it is your life. I am asking you a very simple question and you can't give me the straight answer. You should be able to recognize your feelings, right?
So, just look inside your soul and tell me : are you happy?"
-----------------silence-------------

"OK then, I will help you, but you must stop fighting me all the time. Just try to see my point of view, that's all that I am asking of you. let me show you things that you have forgotten, things that you lost along the way, things that you hide. Don't be afraid, it is nothing to be ashamed of. No commitments, no obligations I just ask you to open  your eyes and soul. Then we will start."

MIG

Mig is following me everywhere this days. I admit that I kind of like her, but she has this habit of suddenly popping up in the most inappropriate times and places.

Being a good catholic girl and a mother, and on, and on I do not appreciate sudden surprises of her appearance and disappearance. There is never "halo" or "good bye". One moment she is here and then she is gone. Usually she manages to make some annoying comment about my life and she is gone.
When it first started I thought that this is some kind of life enlightenment, I figured that at this point of my life there must be some wisdom that I have acquired, but I am not quite aware of it, so it is manifesting itself in this weird way. Now I don't think that anymore. I might be going crazy? - this is another option.
Anyway - Mig moved in to my life and sooner or latter I will have to deal with her. The problem is that i can't even talk to her, she is just not interested in my point of view. She acts like a spoiled child, but I guess this is what you can expect from a very old goddess????

I am focussed

I am doing just fine, I am focussed and efficient. Every morning I try to follow the same routine (yes - I TRY, nobody's perfect): get up; coffee; try to do something with my hair; get my kid out of bed; get him to eat breakfast; give up on the hair thing; walk to school; go to work...... and so on and on.
This should create feeling of stability, in my case it creates feeling of boredom and urge to run away. It's just not working for me.

I follow (or TRY to follow) advice of various gurus : BE POSITIVE (I've mentioned this one already, I know), LIVE IN THE PRESENT MOMENT (this one is hard to ignore - we all LIVE in the present moment - dah!), EMANATE GOD ENERGY ( that one is a bit tricky), ....... BLAH, BLAH, BLAH (my personal favorite).
I - eat as well as possible, - think about exercising, - have a lot of supplements in my cupboard - I think this is all good. I try to focus on my wonderful reality, I don't  think about unpractical or unnecessary ideas, I am so proud of myself.... and then when all is going so well SHE shows up!!!!

I just like to slap her sometime, she is so happy all the time!!!!  and full of energy, and new ideas, amazed by everything - it's ridiculous. How on Earth we can have anything in-common?

What if she is my opposite?  Than I must be a miserable cow?????
This is not fair at all!!!

reality check

Today I will try to ignore My Inner Goddess (which I have been doing for years very successfully)
and see who else is there? There must be someone more sensible than this sperm surfer !
I know for sure about the MOTHER GODDESS  but that might be a bit outdated image.
First of all she is so out of shape, there would need to be some serious liposuction, tummy tack, breast augmentation.... not mentioning good facial and updated hair style. Definitely too much work, never the less - with today's technology everything is possible..... RIGHT???
I will put this on my "to do list" as a makeover for Venus of Willendorf.
I will probably need to start with a good detox, then change her diet and balance her hormones. Then we will go shopping !!!! YES!!!!
- And why am I getting excited about shopping???? I hate shopping!!! Maybe I need to balance my hormones first before I get into this job seriously? Or brush my hair for a start? This sounds about right....

slip and slide

This is weird and kind of embarrassing but after "A" should come "B", so here we go.
It was a strange night: I am all sweaty and hot and I think "Darn this must be the hot flashes stuff - ALREADY???" So I got up to get a glass of water. On the way to the kitchen I slip on something wet and sticky, landing on my back - flat out "Ouch, it hurts!  and why is it so dark in here anyway?"
I try to get up but I keep on sliding back again and again, the floor isn't straight anymore, it got rounded up somehow.
 Actually it looks like I'm in some kind of tunnel..... "OK I can do this, this must be my sophisticated subconscious speaking. I get it: the light at the end of the tunnel....... but where is the light?"
No light at all and it's just too hot here, and this smell..... it is kind of familiar, reminds me of .... I give up, it will come to me later on, I'm sure of it.
I really want to get out of here, I guess I just have to climb up. Slowly I get myself up and start going. It is very difficult, there is nothing really that I can grab or support myself with. I feel as I am some kind of worm, wiggling my way through obstacles.After a while I get a hang of it, actually it is not as bad as I first thought. The only problem is that the higher I get the more slippery it is, and the slime is getting into my hair. Well, I will just get a good shower after this. I don't know how long I am doing this, it seems like forever but I am used to it by now. And then here it is again - I can hear the laughter. It is the same one as before. Louder and louder it is coming fast from the upper levels. But it is getting closer with each second. Actually it is too close for comfort - BAAMMMM!!!!
This time I got knocked out completely. The silly girl just slam into me with a full impact. The worst thing is that she didn't stop laughing. How can you be soooo - whatever!!!
"Hi sweetie" she said
"I beg your pardon, I am not SWEETIE!, and you just bang me down , and I don't know you"
"Sure you do, sweetie. Anyway, how do you like it here?"
"I don't! What is this slime all around?"
"J.O.L. of course" she grinned at me as I was the stupid one.
"Well, it looks kind of like Jello but the taste is way off" and I was sure that I knew what I was talking about.
"Not Jello, silly - Juice Of Life, that's what it is. I'm sure you had it before. It does marvels for your complexion and you don't need to put chemicals in your hair anymore. I just LOVE it." - another grin.
"Waite a minute - you telling me that all this stuff around us is!......no way"
"Way, sweetie. I got to go. I will see you soon. Ciao Bella" - and she slided down past me standing into my knees in the pool of happy sperm - YAK!  I really need a good shower!
And then, suddenly I got the message.
Is THIS supposed to be my inner goddess???? Somebody help me!!! PLEASE !!!!

......and woman created pleasure ....

http://lucasgaudette.com/new-artwork-asphodel-rift

I could hear her laughter all night long. She had so much fun, she was sensual and playful, so pure and natural. She new how to take and give pleasure to the extreme, I could almost taste it.
"So why can't I be like that?" I thought
There is no real reason why not, I can be like that and you can. We are the goddesses, we just forgot about it.
I know that this night I will follow her, and I will watch and learn from her. I will bring back the goddess in me. The journey begins....

.... Well OK - I have to admit that life hasn't been to excited for some time now. I go to my doctor and he asks if I'm  "sexually active"? Well.... not really at the moment, make it a few months, quite few months.

And why not? Because I am a mother, a professional, a single parent and there is no one in the picture at the moment.

So I think to myself: "THINK POSITIVE" and it goes like that.

I walk down the street and I see couple young kids kissing.

My first reaction is: Oh I used to be like that, it was a long time ago..... THINK POSITIVE! (I remind myself)

So my prompted reaction is: Oh how sweet love is

Ant then my honest reaction is: CRAP I WANT SOME !!!