slip and slide

This is weird and kind of embarrassing but after "A" should come "B", so here we go.
It was a strange night: I am all sweaty and hot and I think "Darn this must be the hot flashes stuff - ALREADY???" So I got up to get a glass of water. On the way to the kitchen I slip on something wet and sticky, landing on my back - flat out "Ouch, it hurts!  and why is it so dark in here anyway?"
I try to get up but I keep on sliding back again and again, the floor isn't straight anymore, it got rounded up somehow.
 Actually it looks like I'm in some kind of tunnel..... "OK I can do this, this must be my sophisticated subconscious speaking. I get it: the light at the end of the tunnel....... but where is the light?"
No light at all and it's just too hot here, and this smell..... it is kind of familiar, reminds me of .... I give up, it will come to me later on, I'm sure of it.
I really want to get out of here, I guess I just have to climb up. Slowly I get myself up and start going. It is very difficult, there is nothing really that I can grab or support myself with. I feel as I am some kind of worm, wiggling my way through obstacles.After a while I get a hang of it, actually it is not as bad as I first thought. The only problem is that the higher I get the more slippery it is, and the slime is getting into my hair. Well, I will just get a good shower after this. I don't know how long I am doing this, it seems like forever but I am used to it by now. And then here it is again - I can hear the laughter. It is the same one as before. Louder and louder it is coming fast from the upper levels. But it is getting closer with each second. Actually it is too close for comfort - BAAMMMM!!!!
This time I got knocked out completely. The silly girl just slam into me with a full impact. The worst thing is that she didn't stop laughing. How can you be soooo - whatever!!!
"Hi sweetie" she said
"I beg your pardon, I am not SWEETIE!, and you just bang me down , and I don't know you"
"Sure you do, sweetie. Anyway, how do you like it here?"
"I don't! What is this slime all around?"
"J.O.L. of course" she grinned at me as I was the stupid one.
"Well, it looks kind of like Jello but the taste is way off" and I was sure that I knew what I was talking about.
"Not Jello, silly - Juice Of Life, that's what it is. I'm sure you had it before. It does marvels for your complexion and you don't need to put chemicals in your hair anymore. I just LOVE it." - another grin.
"Waite a minute - you telling me that all this stuff around us is!......no way"
"Way, sweetie. I got to go. I will see you soon. Ciao Bella" - and she slided down past me standing into my knees in the pool of happy sperm - YAK!  I really need a good shower!
And then, suddenly I got the message.
Is THIS supposed to be my inner goddess???? Somebody help me!!! PLEASE !!!!